The Obesity Meta

And after all these years of training in various martial arts, I have just now realized the true meta for all fighting: obesity.

Weighing 300-400 lbs is one of the best advantages one can have in a fight. The sumo wrestler is the most formidable opponent anyone could face.

Fat is like natural armor. Strikes and kicks don't hurt the obese as much as they hurt thin people. I met a guy once (400 lbs or so) who could be hit in the stomach by one of our 190 lb kotokan cho-dans, full force, and not even flinch. It also protects their organs from knife attacks, and possibly even small caliber rounds.

In wrestling and bjj, they are practically immovable. Like wrestling an atlas stone. You need to be 7 feet tall to successfully pull guard. If they get a top position, you are already dead-- they put all their weight on you, and it is impossible to move or breathe. If you've ever been pinned by a person in your weight class, you know how exhausting it can be. The obese man is far worse to be under.

Their necks are so thick that choking is very difficult, especially if you don't have long arms. They are immune to all judo hip throws, and their fat bellies keep you at sufficient distance such that you can't do leg wraps or double leg takedowns. You can try to foot sweep them but even this is risky, as their weight is so immense that you can barely control where they might fall.

"Oh, just aim for the face!"
They have a protection sphere of obesity around them that prevents you from getting close to them. It's like a huge bubble of forced distance. If you are within striking distance of their face, you are well within their grasp.

"Just move around!"
The obese are less easily exhausted than they are made out to be on TV. They can put up a fight for a decent amount of time. A trained fatty will probably even outperform an untrained 200 lb man.

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  1. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    A lot words to cope with being a fatass.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Theres a super fat dude in my BJJ gym.
      >inb4: he's just dirty/stinky/gross/etc
      No one will roll with him, even our strongest because he can literally go dead weight and instantly neutralize anything. I feel bad about it, he hasn't paid his dues lately, probabaly gonna bail, he doesnt suck, nice guy too. But frick that noise, I am not risking my already fricked up joints so big boy can feel included. I am not saying all that shit OP said was right but being fat is somewhat of a deterrent.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      based

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >t.

      >OP is a fat homosexual
      As a martial artist who has let himself go but still works in the biz, this is 100% bullshit. Everything is harder when you're fat, everything hurts more, your recovery is slower, and no matter what you do your athletic abilities will NEVER be the same as someone with the same level of fitness minus the weight.

      based

      I fight in the 90kg class at 6'3".

      I'm not coping with anything but the fact that I cannot successfully fight fatties.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Reminder the fastest thread on this board is about fat guys pushing each other.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        That's arguably because this is a weeb website and that's the biggest extreme sport for weebs.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          The tragedy of /sumo/, too fat and powerful for Fhite, but not nimble enough to keep up with all the football on Fhite. Since it's a classic part of Japanese culture, we should get our own board just like the origami lads.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Despite being one of the faster threads /sumo/ seems to be a good pace for this board since there's only one in the catalog. In contrast, /esg/ is on its third thread.

  2. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >t.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      what the frick is that

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >sweeps your feet with his giant meaty appendage

        "Nothin personnel"

        I think the huge penis isnt caused by being obese, but by elephantiasis. he is ALSO obese , but it's just a coincidence both things are happening to him at once.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I've seen this a few times in Fhite's FPH thread, I think it's lymphodema; large amounts of fluid accumulating in extremities. Picrel is a less bizarre example

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >sweeps your feet with his giant meaty appendage

      "Nothin personnel"

  3. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Now imagine if you had muscle under that like a powerlifter.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous
      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Kiss ass. You would never take down a sumo you're fricking insane if you think otherwise, meat head.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      They are pretty damned muscular under that, hard not to be with the way they train. But unfortunately it's hard to see on the larger ones.

  4. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >It also protects their organs from knife attacks
    Natural advantages are irrelevant in an armed fight as a knife will pierce through you like butter.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >It also protects their organs from knife attacks
      I FMA instructor, himself very lean, told me that he's had students who became bouncers in areas where bouncers had to deal with knives a lot and deliberately got fat to have some extra protection.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        *An FMA instructor

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Wouldn't buying chain mail be healthier and more effective?

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Probably, but now you look like a sperg instead of a big guy. It's probably also easier to source calories than chainmail in the Philippines or whatever third world shithole these guys were working in.

  5. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Big tall guys should be dealt with by oblique kicking the knees

  6. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    this is surely a very minority opinion, but I think bodybuilders look better (stronger, more agile and dexterous) in their off-season. I actually think off-season BB body is one of the best bodies for males, as long as you also do an actual game-sport and lift heavy in 3 main lifts+some oly.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I actually think off-season BB body is one of the best bodies for males
      Pretty much this, it's the ultimate dad bod and women go crazy over it.

  7. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Not my problem

  8. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sumo wreslers suck ass.
    Nofighter kys.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's what the described bodytype would be.

  9. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >The sumo wrestler is the most formidable opponent anyone could face.
    Sumos have lost every MMA fight ever. It was so bad the very nationalistic author of Baki even made them lose to real martial arts.

  10. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >OP is a fat homosexual
    As a martial artist who has let himself go but still works in the biz, this is 100% bullshit. Everything is harder when you're fat, everything hurts more, your recovery is slower, and no matter what you do your athletic abilities will NEVER be the same as someone with the same level of fitness minus the weight.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why did you let yourself go? Where did you frick up?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        It wasn't one thing. Took on a more administrative/educational position in athletic training. If you're a decently fit person and you suddenly slow way down... Well combine that with midlife age, a borderline unhealthy love of good food, and you'll get chunky pretty quick. I really got no excuse, no one does, I could have pumped the brakes and turn thing around at 5lbs overweight, 10, 15, etc... All I can say is, at some point that inner drive to stay in your best shape, it becomes a fight just to hold onto that.
        >tl;dr: Complacency is addictive

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      The point isnt about athletic abilities though. Nobody is arguing a 400 pound man is going to win a marathon.
      The point is in a real world scenario, the reality is weight is a huge advantage in a 1-on-1 to the point that even trained fighters are going to habe a hard time taking down a 400 pound tank that just sits on them. Grappling isnt going to work because they are too massive and the fat does a lot of work protecting from impact.
      Fat boy is going to be wheezing and beyond sore after the fight, for sure. But if its a life or death fight between a 180lb fighter and a 375 lb active fatty (lots of tradesman and guys that work in warehouses lile this), the 375lb guy is going to win.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Have to agree with this as well. Recovery as well as stress on joints and ligaments always cause pain.

  11. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine fighting Mills Darden who was 7'6, 860 lbs and extremely strong

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      One leg kick and he’d probably collapse under his own weight

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >implying any of that is true

  12. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Obesity is cope. You need to be built and have beer armor. When it comes to pro sports the fat is a detriment every time. Something like a muscle bear or dad bod is the ideal warrior. Not your standard amerimut walking gout case

  13. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Now post what he looked like when he was trying to win a fight, and post the physique of the guy who beat him.

  14. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I can assure you that I can own the average scooter riding amerifat in both armed and unarmed combat.

  15. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    What can a fattie actually do though? If you grab the fat on his back he can't reach you with his arms and he's too sluggish to get away while you repeatedly pommel him from behind. If you stand to the side of his leg then he won't even be able to hit you with a back kick. If he raises his leg to perform a stomp then all you have to do is back off until he finishes his slam, then move back in to continue punching.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Go out and pick a fight with a man who outweighs you by 100 kilos, report back and tell us what he can do.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Not that guy but there is a point of diminishing returns. Unless you're abnormally athletic like a sumo wrestler being 300+ pounds becomes a liability.
        Obviously big guys hit harder, but there are also asymmetric tactics in actual fighting.

  16. 4 months ago
    Anonymous
  17. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    True, I was almost immune to chokes back when I was obese and I could tank almost anything, my advice would be to aim for the calves and the knees

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      The point isnt about athletic abilities though. Nobody is arguing a 400 pound man is going to win a marathon.
      The point is in a real world scenario, the reality is weight is a huge advantage in a 1-on-1 to the point that even trained fighters are going to habe a hard time taking down a 400 pound tank that just sits on them. Grappling isnt going to work because they are too massive and the fat does a lot of work protecting from impact.
      Fat boy is going to be wheezing and beyond sore after the fight, for sure. But if its a life or death fight between a 180lb fighter and a 375 lb active fatty (lots of tradesman and guys that work in warehouses lile this), the 375lb guy is going to win.

      so wo*king class chuds are better fighters than patricians, then?

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        On average yeah, they do functional work all day and know how to use their weight.
        Exceptions exist of course, the fat boomers that only run equipment are mostly just talk, but even then some of them can scrap.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        In most cases proles are more efficient than patricians at what they're doing

  18. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sumo wrestlers aren't fat fat.
    They eat this special diet that turns their fat into armor.
    You can't get a sumo fighter by just feeding them Mc.Donalds and deepfried marsbars.
    It's a whole project.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ura has actually stated that he considers the McDouble an extremely efficient way of getting protein, but it is mostly rice, meat, and chanko.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's mainly the chanko.
        They have different fat.

        >turns their fat into armor
        Lol what?
        Sumo wrestlers are fat but they also have huge muscles under the fat

        That too, but the fat they have is different from the fat landwhales have.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Are you asserting that they have more brown fat than white fat or something else? Either way, most landwhales aren't strongfat.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            I think that's it.
            They're fat but they aren't eating garbage.
            There is a whole science and tradition to crafting a sumo wrestler.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            I can't think of any reason why brown fat would have superior "armor" functions to white fat. Did you get your information from a sumo anime or manga?

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Friend of mine talked about it, he loves sumo.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Ask him about it again, figure out what he's talking about. Either it's bullshit or I'm about to learn something cool about the human body.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Just asked him.
            He mentioned that it was covered in some Netflix documentary about sumo wrestlers.
            I never knew it was an actual martial art until he mentioned it.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            >some Netflix documentary about sumo wrestlers
            Which one?
            >I never knew it was an actual martial art until he mentioned it.
            Check out the sumo thread, it's pretty based

            [...]

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >turns their fat into armor
      Lol what?
      Sumo wrestlers are fat but they also have huge muscles under the fat

  19. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Their necks are so thick that choking is very difficult

    You don't have to be on the neck to RNC. Frick, I wish it were directly on the neck instead of the jaw.

  20. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    As a big boy, can confirm, I'm 302 and 6'3. I look slimmer than most fatties at my height and I can run a 10 minute mile. I do boxing and TKD. I'm virtually unstoppable, between having a mix of a fatty and muscle core, I can take gut shots like nothing. There is something you are getting wrong though anon, the neck of a big guy as with anyone is always open to attack, just like the head, liver, and kidneys.
    Other than that, I find it hard to disagree. Also weight loss has been going well, lost 20 pounds in the past 3 months.

  21. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Ok, in a grappling context, there are weight classes for a reason. BUT all that weight is hard to move around. I'm about 260 at roughly 25ish% bf (powerlifted before bjj) and I have a classmate clocking in at about 315. He's white and I'm blue. Belt math says he should be able to crush me, but I don't think it's ever been close. If I were 235 at 15% bf? It'd be even more one sided. Athleticism is king. The more weight you have, the more mass you have to move to be effective. Imagine having to get your 400lb ass off the floor, even before you add another human being attacking you to the equation.

    Long story short, if I fought a land whale, I sure as frick wouldn't tickle their fat tummy or wait for them to get solid grips. I'm low kicking the knees or chasing the back, depending on the rules.

  22. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    At 5'8'' 150lb, I horrendously fear fatasses
    I sparred one in boxing and the guy pushed me back feet and made me hit the ropes. They have fatass strength
    My only method of countering him was outlasting him, I would get pummeled

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